Tales of yearning and distortion.

Alright, I've got two major mid-terms this week and I really ought to be studying. In fact is I've been doing nothing but studying, I figured I should rest my brain and revert back to old patterns of My Chemical Romance, The Used and feeling 15 again. I remember when we were 15, I recall Edward Scissorhands and afternoons filled with jazz. I remember you, I always will. As the months slowly melt away, the thought of being able to see you again makes my heart swell. Its been way too long darling.

So I've indulged for a tick and decided to come on here and spill my guts a little. I've been crazy insanely busy, for those of you who wonder. Doing the whole 'perpetually broke starving college student working 2 jobs' thing. Its been exhilarating, we all know how I feel about keeping profitably busy. I leave Houston in a little under 2 months, I leave boy in a little under 2 months. Somehow after nearly 7 years, these wounds are torn open and feel ever so fresh again. Somehow I find myself back in the situation of having to say goodbye, with the airport and the tears. This time I'm the one who finds myself leaving on a jetplane. I've been keeping quiet about it, I didn't want it to seem like I would let something like this compromise my future, but now I figure, instead of sitting around and waiting for this certain impending doom so to speak, I might as well put it out. Maybe it'll seem less aggravating out loud, than sloshing around in my noggin.

Sometimes I lose sight of myself when I'm in his arms, when my fingers trace his lashes. For those brief instances, I find myself suspended in some sort of timeless animation. When application, phonecalls, bank balances, school and work aren't an issue. I wonder to myself, how I got so lucky. What did I do to deserve such comfort with someone. What did I do to deserve to simply 'fit'. I wonder why.

Don't get me wrong, I've come to accept the fact that my life pretty much boils down to picking up moving along, settling down, assimilating, falling in love with places, people- then being violently yanked away and made to do the same thing over again, just somewhere else, with someone else. Settling into a pattern is almost forbidden. Thats life no?

So as I hop from one island of happiness to another, I try to avoid falling into the shark infested waters that surround me. With all these transitions that come and go, you have always been that unobvious constant.

As you remember, I do too. I remember standing outstide the bathroom stall consoling you while you cried about your B in Geography when I had failed. I remember the way you remember all the tiny details. I remember how you'd hold my hand when we'd walk down the street. I remember all the silly things we've done.

Let me just put it this way, saying goodbye to love makes it almost worth it, when I know that it means seeing you again.